How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
We self-sabotage when the goal we are trying to achieve feels more like a threat and less like a reward. The threat isn't the lion in the jungle anymore, it's psychological threats like rejection, discomfort, stress, sadness, and anxiety. And we would do anything to not feel these things. So we avoid. We seek pleasure in dopamine hits.

The author describes the four elements that fuel the conflict between going for your goals and being held back by perceived threats that actually won't harm you:
-Low or shaky self-concept
-Internalized beliefs
-Fear of change or the unknown
-Excessive need for control
These "LIFE" concepts could help provide answers to why you may self-sabotage. They tell you about how you interact with the world.

Excessive need for control, is more likely innate. If we have more control over our environment, we are more likely to survive. But if you are planning big things, new things, then you are unlikely to see the finish line. And if you need to see what will happen, that may keep you from starting at all if you aren't sure what the goal line looks like.

Truly exploring your current and past situations will help reveal the origin of your psychological threats. Knowing what feels threatening to us will help us find the key to reassuring our brain that we are safe. The feeling is nothing more than a warning sign asking if we are safe. When we know we are safe, we will know that the discomfort of trying to achieve what we want in the world is not a threat to us. Discomfort is necessary to achieve at our highest level. We simply learn how to live with discomfort.

Source: https://www.medpagetoday.com/opinion/kevinmd/98280
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